Unspoken Devotion
by Katja87
Summary: After a bitter separation, Kagome and Sesshoumaru reflect on their lives without the other.


A/N: Well, this is the first thing I've ever posted on this website. I'm currently converting this poem into a fanfiction upon request from some reviewers from A Single Spark. I hope you enjoy! Sesshoumaru's thoughts are in italics and Kagome's thoughts are in regular font.

Unspoken Devotion

_Against that wall my hungry memories press  
__To reach back to the time that was my heart.  
_"Lost"-Stephen Spender

Countless number of photographs,  
Papers with his name,  
Notebooks filled with our history,  
It's all driving me insane.

Do you know that I miss you,  
And think of you every night,  
You haunt my dreams with your presence,  
Yet thrill me with your sight.

_I find myself remembering you,  
__Your sudden guises all seem strange,  
__Do you still hum when you read the paper,  
__I wonder how much you've changed._

I want to know your affection,  
I hunger for your touch,  
Even though we've been apart for so long,  
God, I still miss you so much.

_I yearn to ban you from my thoughts,  
__It's useless to dwell on the past,  
__I long to focus on just the future,  
__How long will these feelings last?_

I was blind to your shameful gaze,  
My ignorance had been bliss,  
Until all the promises I found to be lies,  
When I tasted her in your kiss.

_Haunted by bittersweet memories of betrayal,  
__And mocked by the wasted years,  
__I beg of you, be happy and smile,  
__For I am not worth your tears._

When she senses you shiver beside her,  
In the innocence of the night,  
That's my forgotten spirit caressing you,  
With bitter feelings of delight.

_I sense your hot stare upon me,  
__Your cold breath across my cheek,  
__And the memories come in sorrowful surges,  
__So powerful, I can't speak._

My icy fingers of jealousy,  
Are frozen with desire,  
Only you can resurrect my dormant emotions,  
You are my one true fire.

_This discontent consumes me,  
__When her fingers stroke my face,  
__Her meaningless touch leaves me unbearably empty,  
__How I long for your saving grace._

I hope you drown in your vanity,  
I pray she was worth it all,  
For while I stumble through the memories,  
It is you who will take the fall.

_Is it natural to feel so alone,  
__When you have found someone new,  
__She is all that I should ever want,  
__But all I want right now is you._

When we made love every fiery night,  
Whose face did you really see,  
This vile doubt consumes my soul,  
My heart longs to be free.

_She's not who I believed to be,  
__Her beauty doesn't match her soul,  
__From her lips scorching with false passion,  
__To her eyes that burn so cold._

I can feel your decadent longing,  
There's ice within your veins,  
Hollow love cannot mend this wound,  
Only I can heal this pain.

_In her arms I grieve your touch,  
__And like an unrepentant sin,  
__I remember the caress of your fingertips,  
__Tracing hot paths across my skin._

I can see inside your soul,  
When you lay her down to sleep,  
And secretly I know it's my essence,  
That you crave to keep.

_When she tells me of her love,  
__I imagine you at my side,  
__For the words you spoke were pure and precious,  
__I knew you never lied._

Her kisses are hungry, her promises empty,  
Everything is so untrue,  
I hear your prayers, but I can promise,  
She'll never love you like I do.

_I detest this innate wanton enticement,  
__This meaningless ardor spawns regret,  
__We will recover from this lost relationship,  
__It is you that I won't forget._

You have it all, or so you think,  
You can't understand how you feel,  
Beauty's affections leave you bitterly weak,  
That's because my love was real.

_I drown my sorrows in warm bodies,  
__And fill my head with wine,  
__The proclaimed caring souls all have lied,  
__My suffering has not eased with time._

My content smiles are wretchedly forced,  
I'm through with this compelled hate,  
I damn myself for this undying love,  
And I loathe my heartbroken fate.

_What happened to the man you held dear,  
__And the lover you once adored,  
__The cursed truth creates my hellish misery,  
__You are not mine anymore._

I only want you to be happy,  
Even if I can't call you mine,  
In your presence I will contently smile,  
And later cry for the one left behind.

_I taste the tears you have cried,  
__I know that this is true,  
__I do not deserve your lamenting mercy,  
__Above all, I'm not worthy of you._

_Countless number of photographs,  
__Papers with her name,  
__Notebooks filled with our history,  
__It's all driving me insane…_


End file.
